Confession of a friend

I have a confession to make. I haven't been such a good friend. This post will be long. I think. But if it doesn't apply to you please hop to another blog.

I've been distance with two of my close friends and I've been feeling like there's something missing or just plain guilt.

Both are different girls I met different places and time and somehow we became close. And same situation. Both are dating my exes. Which at first I was confuse to mind or not to mind about it but in the end I acted ok with the complicated situation.

I was not aware that deep inside I really hate the situation. Its like why my ex? Isn't there anyone else out there? So with this hate, I started acting weird. First time a close friend ended up with an ex I was very mean to her. I posted something so bitchy here (but I swear I did apologize). So we're distant because of that and she won't accept my apology till today I think.

I learn my mistake. So for the second time it happen again and that time was my college close friend was dating my recent ex. It used to be hard for me to be ok till this one phase I totally couldn't bring myself to talk to her or my ex. But I tried my best to make it normal and things aren't like it used to be. We're kinda distance.

See.... I tak bitchy pon still distance. whyyyyyy???

I feel menyampah? yes I used to. Its like breaking the sis code because you know when things like this happen we're not gonna be close and that's for sure. The truth is I do very much miss these two people. They are really great gfs.

Being alone in this reality world makes me think why there is so much hate till I lose a great gf. There's no point feeling that way. Its beyond my control to stop people from loving each other.

I do wish things will be normal. Tho its kinda impossible.

Hug?


Kan senang if I can talk to both of you girls like this and we'll be totally clear bout this and no pendam2 feelings. I hate feeling like there's something missing. Its normal. Not everything my friends do I like and not everything I do my friends like too. I'd say... be frank with each other.